Got a hot date today.
Well, I hope it doesn’t get too hot. Shouldn’t. I can always crank the AC.
Some of you will spend the bye weekend at the farmer’s market. Some of you will spend it at the park with the kids. Some of you will tailgate and get buzzed like nothing’s different … except, of course, Jordan-Hare Stadium should be a little more dormant than usual.
Not me. Those are all fine suggestions. But I’m gonna actually watch college football without worrying about deadlines for the first time this fall.
Oh, I’m sure I’ll tweet a little bit. I’m sure I’ll glean some info that will be useful going forward, which is why I consider it a semi-work day. But I do know this: I don’t plan on moving further than from my recliner to the kitchen and back.
You’re probably wondering, “But, Aaron, with no Auburn football to appease me, whatever shall I watch?” Well, maybe you’re not wondering that. Because, you know, you’re off to the farmer’s market and playground and such. But still. Work with me here.
My mission is simple: to watch the better part of ten halves in ten different college football games, and swing by for ten segments of classic movies, all in one day. Yeaaaaaah. My remote control’s gonna be hotter than Mila Kunis by midnight tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen, start your DVRs. Because I want to portray the notion that I’m actually producing something of value here, I’ll throw in my game picks.
All times Eastern Time Zone
12 p.m. ET – No. 25 Baylor at No. 9 West Virginia, FX
Why? Because I’d like to see what the fuss is about with Geno Smith. And see what it’s like in Morgantown for its first foray into Big XII play. The pick: Mountaineers 54, Bears 26
12 p.m. – Arkansas at Texas A&M, FOX
Why? Because, uh, I actually do have to work. And do some scouting work on Arkansas. Let’s see what Mr. 303, Cobi Hamilton, does for an encore. The pick: Razorbacks 35, Aggies 34
3:30 p.m. – Tennessee at No. 5 Georgia, CBS
Why? Because if the Bulldogs pound the Volunteers in their trademark well-balanced ways, I may not care whether LSU beats Towson 200-0. I’m seriously considering lifting Georgia to No. 2 in my weekly SEC power rankings. The pick: Bulldogs 34, Volunteers 7
3:30 p.m. – No. 14 Ohio State at No. 20 Michigan State, ABC
Why? Because this is the best the Big Ten has to offer these days. The pick: Buckeyes 31, Spartans 21
6 p.m. – No. 4 Florida State at South Florida, ESPN
Why? Because some believe the Seminoles are ripe for the national title game. I’ll be sure to catch the first half before it gets out of hand, just to get an idea for the eye test on Jimbo Fisher’s juggernaut. The pick: Seminoles 45, Bulls 14
7 p.m. – South Carolina at Kentucky, ESPN2
Why? Because I don’t think South Carolina’s that far off of Georgia, or LSU for that matter. The pick: Gamecocks 37, Wildcats 13
7:50 p.m. – No. 12 Texas at Oklahoma State, FOX
Why? Because This is probably the best game of the day, with potential for ‘First to 50 wins’. No other reason than that. The pick: Cowboys 51, Longhorns 49
8 p.m. – Wisconsin at No. 22 Nebraska, ABC
Why? Because … ah … well, it’s the alma mater, and ABC says it’s our top night game, and the Blackshirts always bring it in Lincoln, and … well, because it’s something to do, that’s why. The pick: Cornhuskers 24, Badgers 16
9:15 p.m. – Ole Miss at No. 1 Alabama, ESPN
Why? Because I just need visual confirmation that Alabama’s just unstoppable. Don’t smirk at Ole Miss – the offense is capable of getting something going, even in Tuscaloosa. The pick: Crimson Tide 48, Rebels 20
10 p.m. – No. 2 Oregon at Washington State, ESPN2
Why? Because I want to see whether I like Oregon or Florida State better. These are the things we beat writers can’t really evaluate on Saturdays when we’re busy with our own teams. Thanks for the idle weekend, Jay Jacobs and Gene Chizik. Throughout my college tenure, I never ever had one. The pick: Ducks 55, Cougars 12
Last week: 7-6
Track record: 24-18
If you want a break from football … and I don’t blame you … then check out some flicks on the tube. Plenty of solid options, including these ten:
Again, all times Eastern Time Zone
9 a.m. – No Country For Old Men, USA. Maybe a little early in the morning to watch some ol’ Texas shootouts over your eggs and grits, but still, it’s an Oscar winner.
2 p.m. – The Green Mile, AMC. Rest in peace, Michael Clarke Duncan. Loved you as Frankie Figgs, and you were great as John Coffey too.
4:22 p.m. – Glory Road, Spike TV. Sigh. Can’t wait until basketball season.
4:41 a.m. – Mr. Deeds, Comedy Central. Hey, remember when Adam Sandler was funny and Winona Ryder was hot? Yeah, me neither. This will catch you up to speed.
5 p.m. – Book of Eli, TNT. Denzel Washington could star in a SpongeBob SquarePants episode and I’d be sold.
7 p.m. OR 10 p.m. – A Time To Kill, gmc TV. I have no idea what gmc TV is. All I know is this channel is showing Moesha marathon before unquestionably Matthew McConaughey’s best work, with a killer plot to match the cast (Sam L. Jackson, Sandra Bullock, Kevin Spacey, Oliver Platt, Ashley Judd, Donald and Kiefer Sutherland)
8 p.m. – The Karate Kid, FX. Boy, between Texas-OK State, ID4 and the Kid, that’s gonna be a heck of a rotation in prime time.
8:03 p.m. – Aladdin, ABC Family. Don’t laugh. Favorite classic Disney movie. “Ten thousand yeeeeeeeeeeears will give you such a crick in the neck!”
9:06 p.m. – Kill Bill, Vol. 1 and Kill Bill, Vol. 2, Bravo. Uma Thurman kicks ass. You stay up to watch both movies, you’ll be crashing after bartime. Have fun!